Honestly, I'm having trouble reconciling my once-full-time independent contracting life with today's traditional day job. During the work week, I set my life aside and dedicate my time to the company, but where most people return to their lives when they get back from work, I get ready to work again.
And I think I'm digging myself deeper into a hole here. I am behind on every single obligation I've made, simply because there just aren't enough hours in the day. Because I consider these obligations more important than the minor tasks of living, I forget the little things I'm supposed to do to take care of my own life. I forget to iron shirts. I go to bed hungry some nights because I forget to get groceries. I moved here nearly two months ago, and most of my things are still in boxes.
To be fair to those who work more than one full-time job, I'm not complaining. I'm conceding my inferiority.
There hasn't been enough time for me to distill thoughts and feelings on so many events that have happened since I moved here. I was overwhelmed by an industry conference. I fell in love with Boston. I reconnected with a kindred spirit and fellow #BiSCuit. I had my heart broken because the bar in which I worked for 6 years in LA's Little Tokyo just got torn down. I flew to LA briefly for a funeral to say goodbye to someone who helped to raise me.
I expected to start having the feels, but no, my brain and my calendar notifications tell me differently. They say, "NO TIME TO EXPLAIN, GET BACK TO WORK."
And then I do get back to work. I'm trying to keep up moonlighting as an indie web dev. It's all rollover work from the past few years of doing it full time. But by the time I sit at my desk in my living room, the circuits in my brain that can code have already been running all day. The code dizzies me earlier. The bugs get harder to chase. The problems don't get answers and are piled onto the tasks for the next day.
I passed on it last year, but I'm participating in August VEDA this year. This is overall a bad idea considering what I have just detailed.
But maybe slicing out a little of time in my day to turn the camera on myself, literally as much as figuratively, is the way I can figure out exactly what is going on.
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
-John Hughes, Ferris Bueller's Day Off
While I still intend to spend most of my days staring at code, maybe it's time I take a minute to look around.