GTFO (not you, me)

Setting: Downtown Independent, roof, after a Zaptra show.

Nico: "I have to move to the west side."
Jyrki: "What? Nooo! Why?"
Nico: "I'm commuting there right now."
Jyrki: "You commute to the west side?"
Nico: "Yeah."
Jyrki: "Dude, you have to move!"
Nico: "That's what I'm saying!"
Jyrki: "If you don't move, you will just generate so much road rage that one day, you'll be angry enough to do something you'll regret later. Don't let it happen, man."

LA traffic can suck a dick. Wait, no it can't--because it is stuck in traffic.

While I had already considered it before for professional reasons, my friend, Jyrki, is right. I have to get the fuck out of here if I am going to survive.

This is a shame, because living in this house in north east LA afforded me proximity to people and things to do that I like very much. However, as indicated earlier, my psychological safety and the general safety of others is at stake here.

So, moving time it is.

I've decided to ask the internet for help. To give you a better idea of what's going on traffic wise on a daily basis, I've diagrammed our freeways:

If anyone has any ideas, I would appreciate suggestions. I am in the market for an apartment south and east of the leviathan. That giant spider who lives next to the dragon is a motherfucker.

  • http://superduperfantastic.net/ suki

    I used to live in the neighborhood of LA by Pico/Robertson, just south of BH. If I was heading to Santa Monica, I'd hop on the 10 or take to the streets if the freeway was bad.

  • http://superduperfantastic.com/ suki

    I used to live in the neighborhood of LA by Pico/Robertson, just south of BH. If I was heading to Santa Monica, I'd hop on the 10 or take to the streets if the freeway was bad.

  • Anonymous

    It can't because it's stuck in traffic? HAHAHAHAHA.

  • Anonymous

    It can't because it's stuck in traffic? HAHAHAHAHA.

  • cari

    one word: helicopter.

    other than that, i'm sorry i can't be terribly helpful. :)

  • cari

    one word: helicopter.

    other than that, i'm sorry i can't be terribly helpful. :)

  • http://cessieberlin.blogspot.com Cessie

    Nicooooo, that stupid spider is freaking me out in 2D.

  • http://cessieberlin.blogspot.com Cessie

    Nicooooo, that stupid spider is freaking me out in 2D.

  • Rahul

    I live on the Westside. If you need som suggestions drop me a line. The Culver city area is being built up, and the Palms area is sort of cheap. It's going to be culture shock.

  • http://teachergirlblogs.com Teachergirlblogs

    Um, I have never been to southern Cali so can offer no advice but I will say that your map is amazing and I wish I could make one for the ridiculously horrible traffic in my city.

  • http://teachergirlblogs.com Teachergirlblogs

    Um, I have never been to southern Cali so can offer no advice but I will say that your map is amazing and I wish I could make one for the ridiculously horrible traffic in my city.

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    Photoshop! :)

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    You should see it in 3D! Actually, no, you shouldn't.

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    "GET TO DA CHOPPA!"

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    Oh, I *will* be dropping you a line. Also, I will bother you to go out and drink once I am on the Westside. Consider this fair warning. ;)

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    You should see it in 3D! Actually, no, you shouldn't.

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    "GET TO DA CHOPPA!"

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    Ah man, if only we could turn this into a recurring joke.

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    Ah man, if only we could turn this into a recurring joke.

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    It's just that 405 that's killer in the AM and then everything east of it at the end of the workday. I am actually considering that neighborhood!

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    It's just that 405 that's killer in the AM and then everything east of it at the end of the workday. I am actually considering that neighborhood!

  • Ashley

    Get away from those bats, because the answer to "can bat attack?" is yes. Also, good luck my friend.

  • http://www.writingtoreachyou.com Ashley

    Get away from those bats, because the answer to "can bat attack?" is yes. Also, good luck my friend.

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    Promptly planning an escape from bat country, no worries. :)

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    Promptly planning an escape from bat country, no worries. :)

  • http://twitter.com/DownloadSquad Download Squad

    The traffic between my bed and my office is INSANE!

    Socks, shoes, packaging from Amazon boxes...

  • http://twitter.com/mrseb Sebastian Anthony

    The traffic between my bed and my office is INSANE!

    Socks, shoes, packaging from Amazon boxes...

    (Fukkn Disqus -- delete the comment by Download Squad, please...)

  • http://www.mrseb.co.uk Sebastian Anthony

    The traffic between my bed and my office is INSANE!

    Socks, shoes, packaging from Amazon boxes...

    (Fukkn Disqus -- delete the comment by Download Squad, please...)

  • http://caffeinate-me.com/ andreaki

    Before I lived at my current place, I lived on Robertson and National, in sort of BH-adjacent, Palms-adjacent, SoRo neighborhood. Anyway, the great thing about this neighborhood is that it never took more than 20 minutes to get either all the way to SM (my BF at the time lived on 10th and Wilshire) nor 20 minutes to get downtown... I went to Echo Park at least once a week to watch Lost. And it's pretty cheap - cheaper than my current place anyway.

    Selfishly, I'm excited to have you nearer. Especially since according to your map I live pretty close to the zombie apocalypse and I need more folks on my team of humans.

  • http://caffeinate-me.com/ andreaki

    Before I lived at my current place, I lived on Robertson and National, in sort of BH-adjacent, Palms-adjacent, SoRo neighborhood. Anyway, the great thing about this neighborhood is that it never took more than 20 minutes to get either all the way to SM (my BF at the time lived on 10th and Wilshire) nor 20 minutes to get downtown... I went to Echo Park at least once a week to watch Lost. And it's pretty cheap - cheaper than my current place anyway.

    Selfishly, I'm excited to have you nearer. Especially since according to your map I live pretty close to the zombie apocalypse and I need more folks on my team of humans.

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    Nice, if I can have both the east and west accessible without getting stuck in gridlock, I am as good as sold on that location. Palms is looking closer to the target, I should drive around there some to get a feel for it.

    Also, when it comes to zombie killing, I am not afraid to get my hands dirty.

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    Nice, if I can have both the east and west accessible without getting stuck in gridlock, I am as good as sold on that location. Palms is looking closer to the target, I should drive around there some to get a feel for it.

    Also, when it comes to zombie killing, I am not afraid to get my hands dirty.

  • http://roxanneandlorraine.blogspot.com Lorraine

    Yep, I have no clue about LA traffic, but I'm pretty sure Miami is also on the list of "cities you don't really want to drive in ever," so I have a bit of sympathy for you. Other than that, I have nothing else to offer. I am trying to figure out how to you use "because it's stuck in traffic" on a near daily basis though. I'll report my findings. ;)

    Lor

  • http://roxanneandlorraine.blogspot.com Lorraine

    Yep, I have no clue about LA traffic, but I'm pretty sure Miami is also on the list of "cities you don't really want to drive in ever," so I have a bit of sympathy for you. Other than that, I have nothing else to offer. I am trying to figure out how to you use "because it's stuck in traffic" on a near daily basis though. I'll report my findings. ;)

    Lor

  • http://www.ginntastic.com Ginny

    My suggestion would be fire power or star power Mario style. That's all I got.

  • http://nicopolitan.com/ nicopolitan

    Noted, as I'd like to visit Miami one day (no lie!).

  • http://www.kellylea.blogspot.com Kelly L.

    That looks rather frightening. I'm glad I only have to drive like four blocks to get to work each day. No dragons or nightmare-inducing-spiders.

    You should probably move.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Neighborhood-Watch-OC/180579588632296 David H

    I suggest a Motorcycle. Whenever I head up the 5 to LA, I slice right through. Traffic Blows!