Bugs

Posted on by

Initially, connecting my recent bout with a downer of a mucous-ridden sickness didn't fit in with this blog's running joke 1 of me being a robot. However, it is convenient that there are bugs2, and there are bugs3. So there you go. This robot got a bug.

More to the point, something occurred to me while coming out of this sickness. For years, my blogpost schedule has been a once-weekly sporadic occurrence, and every time that part of the week rolls around, I promise to myself to participate more on the internet because, hell, I like it and a lot of the people who are in it. And because I like these people, I promise myself to pay more attention.

And then the bugs arrive, those industrious little motherfuckers. They may or may not be biological / technological / metaphorical.45678910

Or, simply, you get sick. That's a lame but nonetheless very real definition of bug, and if you take poor care of yourself (eg. the author of this blog), this kind bug tends to make you facepalm-level incompetent.

And then, you just want to lie down, hole up, and not do jack shit until you feel better. What I've accepted recently is that, well, fuck--getting a bug is just part of life, so being lame because a bug makes you lame is okay, because eventually, this bug dies. When a bug, in its sickness context, does not die, it then ceases to be a bug and then hatches from its proverbial cocoon to become a medical condition. That's a long way of saying it could be worse.

I'm going to stop feeling bad for getting bugs in the overarching sense, and at the same time stop promising myself I can lead a way of life that denies the viability of bugs. They happen. They suck. They die. You move on.

Wait, just one apology: Sorry about all the footnotes. Hope that didn't bug11 you. :P

  1. This joke isn't funny as much as it is an ongoing allegory for modern living, in which case it's actually serious, and thus, ridiculous, and not funny ha-ha as much as it is funny interesting-to-consider.
  2. an illness caused by such a microorganism.
  3. an error in a computer program or system.
  4. Your internet goes out.
  5. You forget your wallet in your other pants.
  6. You get a flat tire.
  7. Your umbrella gets pierced.
  8. Your wedding band falls down the drain.
  9. You knick yourself shaving.
  10. A minor error in a robot, programmed to read a daily average of 977 unread items in Google Reader, and who, let's face it, skips over a lot of things because of being distracted by what else he's programmed to do, right? Maybe?
  11. OMG BUGZ AAAAAAAAAAAHKILLIT!!!!11!!1oneone1! #ImSryBugUDedNao #ISBUDN #TotallyUnnecessary #Under140CharactersBitches! #WTF
  • http://phampants.wordpress.com phampants

    I'm trying to read this in a Sean Connery voice.

  • http://www.yourbeardisgood.blogspot.com Rahul

    The type of bug is paramount here. Cockroaches? Out. The kind in that movie Bugs? Ok. Bugs Bunny? HELL YES!

  • http://www.mrseb.co.uk Sebastian

    You know, I've only ever been ill once -- I had a cold when I was 8, an that was it. At least I think I was 8... it was a long time ago now. I also never had my second round of inoculations -- just Polio, and one or two others, I think...

    I have a hard enough time shutting my eyes on trains and 'turning off'. The idea of being completely unable to interact with the world for days/weeks due to illness terrifies me! It sounds dull...

    (But then, maybe, like senility, you don't really think about such things when you're ill?)

    Anyway, your last footnote reminded me of the amazing Hex, from the Discworld series of books. In one scene, they are programming him, and they stumble across a bug. This is his output:
    +++ Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++