If you haven't heard from me in a while, it's not because I've been preparing for an undead apocalypse as well as a good reason to use the word "cockamamie" in a post title.

With how many zombie-based video games and a (really fucking good) TV miniseries based on its eponymous comic book, the zombie fascination culture is far past being mainstream.

But I hear a lot of people dismiss the subculture with a single scoff: What is it with the whole 'zombie thing,' anyway? I suppose that can be said about any other thing (eg. vampires, werewolves, unicorns, Kanye West), but I believe people who ask this question are missing the point of zombies.

As someone who appreciates the gravity of an apocalypse, I think it's a good idea to do a little exploration here.

Just like how science fiction was meant to provide a way to evaluate issues regarding humanity through the powerful lens of an immersive hypothetical situation, zombies are part of an apocalypse scenario that encourages people to think about living in ways that are important to think about.

Now, imagine that shit has hit the fan. If all of a sudden you, as a species or as an individual, were unpredictably and inexplicably yanked down from the top of the world's food chain:

• What would you do?
• Where would you go?
• Who would you trust?
• Can you keep your wits about you?
• Yes, you should panic, but would it keep you alive or debilitate you?
• Do you have the stomach for dismemberment?
• How do you feel about guns now?
• Would your stress and emotions prevent you from being reasonable?
• What do you need in order to live and where would you get it?
• Would you survive?

While I do believe in emergency preparedness and using zombies as a worst-case-scenario benchmark, what I want to ask is that in a time of safety, why aren't people asking these kinds of questions about self-preservation right now? These aren't things people ask on a day-to-day basis because they don't think they need to ask them. Food? It comes from a grocery. Shelter? I have a key to my apartment. And zombies? There aren't any (currently). Why even ask the above questions?

We should be asking ourselves these kinds of questions regardless of an apocalypse because knowing the answers to fictitious survival questions grounds you in reality, and makes you a better contender for the real world. If you might survive zombies, hell, you've definitely got a chance at this thing called 'life.' And that's worth getting to know.

Now, about that metaphor: If this kind of apocalypse scenario squarely puts humans at odds with an other, who and/or what do we consider the monster? Think about that. Zombies really don't give a worry in the world despite all their incessant moaning, and then there are people who can't keep their shit together and pose safety risks to others. Many a zombie flick's tension can be attributed to showing perfectly healthy humans at their emotional and psychological worst.

Another metaphor for good measure: Imagine if you just replace the chant, braaaiiins with some other goal-oriented noun.

Weekend.
Paycheck.
Sex.
Drugs.
Superiority.
Pity.
Admiration.
Stability.
Approval.
Love.

Now, I ask you:

Are you living or merely alive?

Or are you already undead?

It's something to consider.