Archive for November, 2009

Get Through Monday (Lesson 4)

Monday, November 30th, 2009

Zeitgeist

If my last post’s responses are any indication,
you, like me, share some very base tenets and outlooks on life
with many other people.

These people aren’t just like-minded.

They’re alike in spirit, and alike in time.

Zeitgeist comes from German,
zeit being “time” and geist being “spirit,”
and there’s a reason those words come together as a compound.

The people around you will prove it.

And there is safety in numbers.

-n

Open Up Already

Saturday, November 28th, 2009

heartbeartrap

Things I’ve found I discuss on this blog are usually one of two things: What I Think, and What I Do.

Very rarely do I talk about What I Feel because of another set of two things: “Blogging about feelings is so emo!” is a statement I abhor because nobody knows what that fucking word means anymore, plus that sentence is really moot, if you deconstruct it (OF COURSE feelings are emotional, you superfluous nincompoop!); the other thing is I have a problem really opening up that much to people offline, not just because I work on the internet, but especially in light of possibly rendering this blog even more self-indulgent than it already is.

So why open up now?

While researching blogs at work, I’m finding that November in the US finds more introspective posts from bloggers because of the Thanksgiving season, and possibly because in other parts of the US where there are actually seasons, people are more inclined to stay indoors, lending to deeper contemplation. Maybe. That statement could just be a cockamamie sweeping generalization about what I can see as I wander the Series Of Tubes.

(blah blah blah ok nico whatever get to it already.)

A lot of people usually claim fear to negatively connoted concepts.  It makes sense. Spider bites. Closed-in spaces.  Falling off of a tall building.

Death is popular, too.

As much as I myself can claim fear to some of those negatively connoted concepts, I am the only one I know who claims fear to a positively connoted concept.

That is, I’m afraid of what most would consider a good thing:

I’m afraid of being happy.

But let’s get something straight right here. This isn’t saying I believe seeking out happiness is a bad thing. It’s an unalienable right of the US Declaration of Independence. And if you know me in real life, you probably sense that I’m a solid 83.19% of the time in a good mood.

This unreasonable phobia is probably just a nicopolitan phobia.

But why is it a nicopolitan phobia?

From considering this idea because I’m trying to write about it, I believe the phobia stems from the fear of the loss of that happiness. It happens, you know. Happiness can be taken away, can die off, can be impeded by extraneous circumstances — and considering that, happiness presents the pain of its loss.

If it’s really the loss of happiness that I fear, to which I assign to happiness as an inextricable component*, well, that probably makes me unhappy?

I don’t think that’s true. And this is where I can’t reconcile my fear. I have a feeling that there are parts of my life that make me happy, and I just have a habit of never admitting when I am happy.

Why?

Denial lets me enjoy the feeling without being tied to it. I’d much rather this feeling not leave me. The moment I admit that I’m happy, it leaves.

And I fucking hate that.

In the meantime, am I happy, especially since I’m already working towards it?

Nah. But I’m content.

And that must count for something.

__________
* What? I went to college.

Warning Shot

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

Mr. Phampants, we are getting close to continuing our game of #SocialMediaTag.

Just sayin’.

Ableton Live

Sharper Wit. Smarter Ass.

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Something I do not understand is how often a response to a clever quip stops a conversation dead in its tracks.  I mean, if you’re being a smartass, I’m going to be a smartass right back at you. This kind of exchange is easy over the internet, sure, but why are people so shocked and confused in real human interaction?

Examples:

Scene: Electronics store, daytime, checkout line.
Her: [scanning items] Find everything ok?
Nico: Yep.  Everything is where I expected it to be.
Her: [seeing the games I'm buying] Oh, you like violent video games, huh?
Nico: You don’t think using the word “violent” is a bit redundant when referring to video games?
Her: What?
Nico: Nothing. Credit card?
Her: Yeah just slide it right here.

Scene: Bar, nighttime.
Nico: Excuse me [to young lady], can I ask you a question?
Her: Oh, I’m taken.
Nico: Good for you!  But seriously, is that a Hefeweizen?  I was wondering how much they are here.
Her: You’re trying to save yourself the embarrassment of being shot down, aren’t you?
Nico: No, I tend not to hit on people who are presumptuous.
Her: Who are what?
Nico: “Presumptuous.” It means you assume things.
Her: Oh, how ironic! You’re assuming that I assume things.
Nico: That’s not irony. That’s hypocrisy.
Her: What?
Nico: I think we’re done here.  You’re not catching up.
Her: …wait, what?
Nico: Nothing. It was nice to meet you! [To bartender] Maker’s on the rocks, please.

Scene: In a car, daytime.
Him: I just hate bad drivers.  You know?  People just don’t pay attention to the road here.
Nico: Green light.
Him: What? Oh. [accelerates] But you know what I’m saying?
Nico: Yeah.

Scene: House party, nighttime, back yard.
Her: I HATE hipsters! You can just sense them judging people thinking that they’re better than you, and they wear ridiculous clothing just to attract attention. They’re all, “hey, look at me!” Totally oblivious to the world around them.
Nico: You don’t think you’re being a bit judgmental?
Her: What?
Nico: Nothing.
Her: …Oh. I thought you said something?
Nico: Nope. Hey, by the way, cool vest.
Her: Aw, thanks!

Get Through Monday (Lesson 1,113)

Monday, November 16th, 2009

Prevention Is Safety

If you’re like me,
you’ve been saving for weeks to afford
furniture (repairs),
two birthday presents,
[EDIT]a 5 string bass guitar[/EDIT],
and some video games.

Regardless of what you’ve been spending
or if it came into culmination over the weekend,
being back in the office (or in class) prevents you
from further hurting your bank account.

And there’s something to be said for that.

Also, for further protection,
do not visit Etsy or Woot.

-n

Pending.

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

I haven’t posted here in a while but I guess if you’re busy, you’re living, so that’s a good sign.  I usually list these things in bullet points so I’ll do that now to see if I can remember something well enough to write a whole post about it:

  • My roommate’s birthday is coming up this weekend and we are already planning the craziness
  • Hung out with @philleum over the last weekend and we got rather far in some music software tinkering (Reason, Logic, Ableton)
  • Sad that I missed out on the Michael Harami memorial open* because of catch-up on work but I guess that’s corporate life
  • New bands in the shared rehearsal space I need to investigate!
  • Progress progress progress on my roommate’s book project (we’re getting there! eventually)
  • NEW business development in teh freelancsz!!11! Which is good, because after my car repairs, I can definitely use the cash.

I kind of expect to be out of blogger commission because modernfuckingwarfare2 just came out, left4dead 2 is coming out**, and I plan on getting both at the end of my next pay period.

Should I be spending money on video games after I’ve been pulled under financially because of paying for a new driver’s side mirror?  The answer to this is: MW2L4D2OMFG***

Ok I’m done for now.

Back soon.

____________
*That’s a long, heartbreaking story.  Won’t tell it just now.
**Which reminds me, I have an essay on post-modern narratives to offer you about video games, art, and storytelling.  Even people who aren’t as religious about video games as I am will get it.  Promise.
***= “are you fucking kidding me? OF COURSE I am getting these games.”

No One Left Behind

Friday, November 6th, 2009
heartolution

Profound proof in my theory that blogging is more about community interaction than self-indulgent individuality, I was delightfully surprised at the comments thread in my previous post! For that, I have Photoshopped a neat little image here for you all to take with you.

All I did earlier in the week was complain about feeling out of it. It’s a pretty basic human feeling, and I’m sure everyone has those kinds of days. Methinks nothing really need be done about it.

But the rest of my bloggy community would not let me sulk alone, and definitely reminded me that although I wouldn’t feel better right away, that the feeling would pass and I’d be back to cracking silly inside jokes and smartass comments with everyone soon enough.

So as a measure of thanks, I’m going to give some link love back. It’s the right thing to do.

  • Oh! How Lovely! – Jamie gets to be first because she instant messaged me to make sure I wasn’t being a huge ball of life-sucking negativity. Good call, Jamie. As always, it’s good to chat with someone who says “dude!” as much as I do. Fly out to California so we can hang out already!
  • Deutlich – One of the first bloggers I ever followed religiously, and for a good reason. Very rarely does a blogger have the ability to complain and make you think at the same time — to be able to point out the bad without being whiny — and to talk about all of these things in what is effectively very, very readable prose. A good brain propped up by sass and honesty, and when she’s being funny, she cracks a joke like a bullwhip.
  • DShan – A veritable team leader as far as 20SB is concerned, DShan’s got this secret weapon in pontification that is loaded with gunpowder that smells like nostalgia and home cooking. You rarely see it coming even though you know it’s there. And when he delivers, when a post is loaded, he packs a punch.
  • freeandflawed – Known to normal civilians as Awesome Face and our one and only living connection to the elusive superhero, The Googler, she now lives in MY town and you ARE jealous. In seriousness, I really hope she likes this city and doesn’t think Angelenos are bat-shit crazy 100% of the time. And Jenn, I will cook you dinner one of these days. And we will invite other bloggers to eat it with us. And it will be rad.
  • phampants – If I lived in Chicago and produced video instead of producing music, I might be phampants. Of course, there are differences in our lifestyles. He can run a marathon and I can smoke half a pack of cigarettes, he doesn’t wear pants as much as I do, he’s in a different part of the tech industry than I am, etc. etc. However, over IM conversations, we get stoked about the same things enough that it makes me suspicious of if we might have been part of the same government experiment. Might it have something to do with Asians? Who knows. Time will tell.
  • blaez – I hear that geminis get along with other geminis as well, and go figure that blaez and I accidentally started reading each other and that that is all it took for me to subscribe. And never once did I consider unsubscribing. There’s gotta be some truth in that there astrology. Additionally, considering how my sufferings are far less to deal with than what she’s been through, her encouraging me puts something into perspective: pain and suffering are related, but independent of each other. You can choose not to suffer.
  • doniree – Why I hadn’t been reading Doni before the 20SB Chicago Meetup is beyond me, but I dare say that I keep up with her more so than some friends I’ve known way longer. That is a testament to loyalty, for sure, but it’s also a testament to her highly addictive and contagious personality. She’s one of the funnest (shut up, that’s a real word…) persons in the series of tubes, especially if your idea of fun is an examination of fundamental metaphysical and sociological ideas without all the histrionic* fluff that comes with formal philosophy. Incidentally, that is totally my idea of fun.
  • Angela – Another blogger who was the first in my favorites folder. Her writing style is very distinct to me and epitomizes the “blog ramble” a lot of us think we’re doing but it’s what she successfully pulls off and makes it work oh, so well. Every post is a trip. And since she was one of the first escribitionists I started reading, she was one of the first to inspire me to keep up my own blog. I will even go so far as to say she’s changed the way I talk, because I find myself offering well-wishes to people when I leave them right before they go do something. May she never cease writing – ever.
  • eshonkwiler – In a past life known as college, I was a highfalutin English & Comparative Literature major (meaning we also studied translations of stuff). There’s a part of me that still craves the deeper layers under prose, no matter how it’s written. I just need to be reassured that there’s more going on than what I can see with my own eyes. When I found Eric’s blog, I found that he would nearly single-handedly provide me my fix of postmodern writing in the practice of Iceberg Theory — and his actual writing is way different from his blogging voice. It’s like his blog is a stout and his writing is a bourbon. I find that to be pretty badass. Plus, he shares my love of post-rock. Bonus points.
  • writetoreach – I’ve always been subscribed to Ashley and really only started paying attention in the past few months or so, and now I have to backtrack to catch up on what I missed. It seems like she too is going through a busy spell currently, so recognizing that, it was really nice to get a note involving what may have become a “running joke” regarding “punctuation.” She was once an English major like me, and she’s now delving further into deeper meanings via theology; that makes me feel like a zombie because I want her brains. (But, uh, not for eating.) Lastly, it’s fun to watch someone go through NaNoWriMo, which she’s doing RIGHT NOW. (If you don’t know what that is, Google it. I’m too lazy to find the link for you.)
  • SleepyJane – Most distinctly for me, she lives in Johannesburg in South Africa, so that’s pretty cool to start because it makes her the only buddy I have on that continent currently, let alone that country. I’m actually not sure how I started following her, come to think of it. Maybe she was always in my reader. Definitely a varied escribitionist, perhaps the appeal comes from the idea that there’s a person who is thinking about the same things–about all the different parts of life–from the vantage point of an entirely different hemisphere of the earth–that keeps me reading. Alternatively, maybe it’s not that profound. Maybe we both just love coffee and that’s where the internet-friendship started. :P Oh, did I mention her dachshunds are cute?
  • f.B – I used to think I had found most of the quirky smartass bloggers I needed, but I was so effing wrong until I found out about this guy. Just the right balance of earnestness, sarcasm, hyperbole, actual working footnotes, and of course, absurdity — all drizzled in eloquence. The drizzling might make him a sort of popcorn, and you like popcorn, don’t you? Of course you do. Oh, sure, he self-denegrates just like any other self-aware blogger, but chances are, he knows some things you don’t. Go get some smart popcorn.
  • Andrea – Andrea, from whence did you get here, and why hadn’t I subscribed to you sooner? I mandate right here and now that we become friends because you are the 3rd ex-English major on this list (anyone correct me if I missed you), we have been dealing with eye doctors at nearly the same time, we both refuse to wear contact lenses, we were both zombies for Halloween, and… oh, dear. Maybe YOU are my doppelganger!

________________
* okay, that one IS a real word:

histrionic |ˌhistrēˈänik|adjectiveoverly theatrical or melodramatic in character or style

One Of Those Days

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Feeling down.

Feeling even more tacit.  This post is a struggle to write. Write about feeling quiet?  Ridiculous.

Dunno what’s up.  No good reason to feel this way.  Will get over it soon, I think.

Or not.

Not giving a goddam, either way.

Dancemosis

Monday, November 2nd, 2009

Pictures of the Halloween party to be aggregated and then placed on this blog.  In the meantime, here’s our word of the week which came from the weekend:

dancemosis n. |dans ‘mō sis|

Process by which dance moves are transferred via the a dance floor.

Sociological conditions must be met for dancemosis to take place.  Skilled dancers are more attracted to groups of people having fun.  The fun group needs not to have any prerequisite dance skills.  Once the skilled dancer has attached their respective self or selves to a fun group, aforementioned control group thus has a higher likelihood of picking up dance moves from the skilled dancer(s).

The base formula is popularly known as: 1, 2, 3, 4.