Archive for September, 2008

What's In A Name?

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

I wrote this on lunchbreak and forgot to publish it.  Wow, I am bad at remembering to click the Publish button.  I will never work for Penguin Books.

In another “filler” to pass the time until my next batch of Brooklyn Essays (which seems to be taking FOREVER to write), I’ve decided to talk about something that I’ve found affects how I think about myself and act around other people: nomenclature.

And come to think it, a given name lends a lot more insight into how somebody interacts with the world than usually it’s given credit.

Okay, let’s start with my name.

I’m Nico.

Other people named Nico in history:

My “Nico” is short for “Nicolo”, which is a re-spelling of “Niccolò”.  That is an Italian, and specifically Florentine, name.

Other people named Nicolo / Niccolò in history:

But Nico(lo) isn’t even my first name.  It’s my middle name.  I’m called by my middle name because somewhere along our family line, one of my grandfathers was prudent enough to see nomenclature as an influence on someone’s life that would shape the outcome of their respective personalities – as such, when someone was named after a parent, they were no longer called by that name.  My first name, Ramon, is the same as that of my father’s.  But I am not my father.  Therefore, In accordance to my grandfather’s rule I am rarely Ramon.  That personality is reserved for my Dad.  I’m someone else entirely with a trace of my Dad.

I’m Ramon to governments and institutions.

I’m Nicolo in civilian life.

I’m Nico to friends, acquaintances, and colleagues.

I’m Nic to my family.

And I’m nicopolitan when I sign on, so that I remember I’m a citizen in this society made up of four different people that populate the community known as my identity.

Now, let’s move on outwards.

Where did your name come from?  Do you think it helped to determine who you would become?

Female Vocal Samples Needed

Thursday, September 25th, 2008

I’ve been in escapist mode recently, which means creative writing, sketching, and arranging music – but dangit, I can’t find any female musicians willing to do a couple of vocal tracks that actually have the free time to do it.  Sure, there are a lot of offers, but to sit them down in front of a microphone apparently takes a lot of planning and organization.

Any ladies out there in the interwebs down to sing along to something I wrote and record some .WAV files to send back to me? Thing is, this might have to be done electronically, like a series of emails and uploads etc. Unfortunately, I can’t pay you, but I’ll totally give you credit when I release it into Creative Commons.

Song is in the key of A major.  It sounds like a peppier, sillier version of Postal Service.  Anyone?  Halp.

(I’m looking in your general direction, Courtney.)

Bottle Up And Explode!

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

[edit] I was going to publish this last night, but only just remembered I wrote it right now. [/edit]

No, my circumstances are not the same as in the eponymous Elliott Smith song, but its name has been true of describing my thoughts for longer than I care to remember.

I’ve re-discovered this feeling with a sense of self-awareness while trying to remember everything that happened on the Brooklyn trip (it’s a good thing I took notes).  Essay #2 is going to be long because as opposed to Essay #1, it details an entire day.  And with a daydreamer like me, it’s difficult to remember where your head was for an entire day, especially when you are left to wander streets and subways in Manhattan and Brooklyn for a good 4 hours before something eventful happens.  A lot of the writing, it turns out, is going to be remembering a lot of thinking. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately” is a phrase I feel like I say too much, and a phrase that I am rarely given the opportunity to follow up.

I think I maybe don’t let enough out.  And I never let anything out because I feel like nobody listens.  I feel like nobody listens because there is never an appropriate context for it.  I feel like those that are listening feel forced, that contexts are contrived, that it isn’t genuine care but obligation to listen to me spout bullshit.  And I feel guilty for putting people in that situation.

So I bottle up.  It’s just an easy way out.

And it’s a shame that I can’t use this blog as a vehicle for those kinds of unfettered thoughts because of the risks I’d be taking with net identity.  I do, after all, work on the internet.  It’s strange to have that kind of responsibility in restraint, especially in a realm where it is not only acceptable but lauded for people to spill the worst of themselves for everyone else to see.

It’s also strange, because of this restraint, that I have to remind myself that this person on the internet with my username is also a real person.  It’s getting more and more difficult for me to believe that.

Maybe I should get back into creative writing.  In the past, that always seemed to be a good outlet for the speculations lacing my synapses – I could express things candidly and still obliquely hide behind the guise of it being some kind of “artistic expression”.  I was able to get away with some twisted and concerning ideas without the responsibility of people thinking something was seriously wrong.  And that was good, because in reality, I am really only as broken as the next person.  We all have problems, after all.

It’s easy to duck behind metaphors.

And a lot of the sentences in this post begin or end with a first person pronoun, making me self-conscious even though this is my blog.

I need to get out of my own head.  Narcissism leaves a funny taste in my mouth.

What a week this is going to be.

Brooklyn Essay #1

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

My brain is all floppy right now and I don’t know why.  Can’t think straight.

Filler post here, in order to draw attention to:

1. I am still alive.  Half unconscious, but alive.

2. Brooklyn Essay #1 has been posted!  8 more to go…

Link Love: The Game!

Wednesday, September 10th, 2008

Since I’ve been out for a while and I’m still working on those Brooklyn essays, I figured I should take this opportunity to write a filler post to help get me back into the swing of blogging.  But the Brooklyn Essays are gonna be good, I promise!  Or they’ll good by my writing standards, which means if you don’t particularly care for my writing style they’ll still be crap.  But they’ll be shiny crap.

Sparkleturds, if you will.

That, however, does not change that I still need to get back into the swing of writing regularly and participating in the shit-ton of feeds I subscribe to – which is something I actively like doing!  I forgot how much I missed this!

So like an icebreaker, I propose a game.  And I will play the first round!

How to play: Pick a handful of your favorite blogs – it helps if you haven’t visited or commented on them in a while.  Then, pick a post.  Link to the post via linking to the permalink, but give that post an alternate title that might encourage onlookers to visit them. (Note: It helps to know what the post is about.)  Then, simply credit the author in brackets.

I realize this is a “non-post” or “filler” as they say, but there’s no sense in leaving this blog dead, ya know.

Anyway, on with the show:

Good?  Good.  Yeah, I know it’s not everyone, but this is all I had time to read tonight considering all the work I’m backed up on thanks to the vacation.

I kinda like this.  It’s like cracking knuckles and rolling your neck before you get back to work, anticipating your hands getting dirty again.  I’m considering turning this into a regular habit as a way of really getting to understand my peers.

Anyway, that’s all for now.  More to come, as per the aforementioned.

*note: dude, I could not help but name this a line from your post, it made me laugh so hard that I swallowed the gum I was chewing.

Coming Soon: An Essay Project

Sunday, September 7th, 2008

Admittedly, getting back into blogging will be difficult with what has legitimately been my first vacation, and I had appropriately chosen NYC as the setting.  I could not have picked a better city to completely rewire my brain, especially since said brain had been experiencing some fried circuits lately.

To get things started up again I would like to shout back into the series of tubes known as the interwebs that, yes, I’m still around, and maybe some of you will hear it.

Hello again, web tubes.

I’ve been having a blast visiting my old roommate, Lucas.  And I’d say “It’s just like old times” but the truth is it’s not like old times – instead, it’s completely new times with recurring characters.

Of course, I plan to elaborate more on this with a set of essays detailing what I did here on the East Coast.  I will also note the effects those events had on my understanding of things since this is a personal blog and not a travel guide.  “Good pizza here” and “great dancing there” and “awesome bands at this place” and “interesting X, Y, Z” is only scratching the surface, and really the trip was a lot more profound than that.

To give you an idea of what has just happened to me, I have been thrust head-long into the Brooklyn underground art scene as a test of whether I would survive or not.

And did I survive?

What I can tell you is if I have a daughter some years from now, I may name her Brooklyn.

I’m coming up on my final hours in this trip.  My bags are nearly packed, and since my flight is early I decided to pull an all-nighter.  I wonder what kind of person I will become when I get back to LA.  I hope I change for the better.

And yes, there are pictures.  I promise.