Sometimes, My Muse Actually Talks To Me.

Muse: So I hear you’re going to try singing?
Nico: Yeah, at least that’s the plan.  I miss being able to hit notes so, you know, practice, practice, practice.
Muse: Can I hear what you’ve been up to?
Nico: Sure, why not?  This one’s a ballad…ish… thing.
Muse: You wrote a ballad?
Nico: Because slower songs are easier for me.  Gives me a lot of breathing room for holding a note.
Muse: Fair enough.

Muse: You know, for this being a ballad, you sure use a lot of swear words. Do you really need to use them throughout the whole song?
Nico: This song is dedicated to anyone that’s ever been in a long distance relationship. Have you ever been separated from someone you’re involved with?
Muse: What?  No.  I’m a metaphysical entity.  I wouldn’t know anything about-
Nico: -Right.
Muse: Okay, so you can write a ballad.  But if you show people this, aren’t worried people will think you’re, you know…?
Nico: A pussy?
Muse: I wasn’t going to be that vulgar.  But yes.  I mean aside from liking soft music, you also like hardcore, metal, punk, noise, all that loud stuff, and here you’ve written a ballad.
Nico: I have some louder music.  I’ve been able to manipulate vocals to do this crazy ungodly sounding wash of noise.
Muse: Ok, show me.

Muse: …That’s your voice?
Nico: Essentially, yes.
Muse: …dude.  What. The. Fuck.
Nico: What do you mean?
Muse: I mean… what the hell is going on in your head?
Nico: Um.  It’s noise?  Wh- are you saying it’s bad?
Muse: The issue isn’t whether it’s bad or not, it’s why the EFF would that sound EVER come out of a human being?  It’s fucking creepy.
Nico: Well.  Um.  I dunno.  I can’t answer that.
Muse: The fact that you can make that noise come out of you kinda scares the shit out of me.
Nico: Seriously?
Muse: Seriously.
Nico: Wow.  Maybe I should work on that.
Muse: How?
Nico: I dunno.  Yell more often, I guess.
Muse: And what about ballads?
Nico: I don’t see why they can’t come along for the ride.
Muse: …
Nico: …
Muse: Have I ever told you how much of a wack-job I think you are?
Nico: Many times.
Muse: Good.