Clarity

I remember my first memory, which is getting up out of bed to play.

I remember, at first, having an unreasonable fear of ninjas.

I remember, at a very young age, getting upset upon the discovery that that Math was not my strongest suit.

I remember discovering how to hit record and play it back, and never stopping since.

I remember finally being conversational with the first girl I ever had a crush on, and getting in an argument with her before I moved to Pasadena.

I remember being very fond of Sonic the Hedgehog.

I remember my first day at a private school being foggy.

I remember trying to play sports at recess, and not really enjoying it.

I remember keeping sketchbooks.

I remember starting a band before I knew how to play.

I remember the day I got my first musical instrument, playing it way too loud, and having my foot tap an imaginary kick drum pedal ever since.

I remember the death glare of the first heinous bitch I have ever met in high school occurring in a Latin class.

I remember the awkward and difficult task it was to grow my hair long in high school.

I remember being able to play Hollywood’s Whiskey-A-Go-Go with my first high school band - just as much, I remember a member of that band climbing on top of an amplifier during a song — and falling off of it.

I remember prom being actually pretty darn fun.

I remember moving into college wearing a Weezer ringer tee.

I remember travel to the Philippines, Europe, and Scandinavia.

I remember starting a band in college with some friends and taking it on the road.

I remember road trips to Mexico and California’s Bay Area.

I remember the look of utter disappointment as my parents took me home from the hospital after an overdose on a drug that does not show up in tox-screens.

I remember failing comprehensives due to simple omissions I should have paid attention to (like ending clauses with a preposition).

I remember getting dumped without closure, and crying the distance on the 134 from the 2 to the 210.

I remember the day of my interview at my current day job, a group of girls from the office walked past me as I smoked a cigarette - and all of them smiling.

I just remembered some things I forgot to list, and I wonder if I will remember this moment of unique clarity; one lined with cigarette smoke and the hiss of nearby surface streets.

I hope I do.

For I, ladies and gentlemen, am forgetful.