
Over the weekend I attended a birthday party for a long time friend. Like my recent experience on the Internet, I've been out of touch with these people as well. I blame work like I always do, but what I learned was that so did everybody else.
Me: "So what have you been up to lately? I haven't seen you in forever."
Them: "Eh, work."
It was everyone's answer. I hear this is what happens when you become an adult.
Eventually, after formality, we all return to relating actual anecdotes of what the past year has been like for most of us. It seems that in 2011, we all drifted apart pretty easily. It took the birthday of our good friend to bring us all back together.
The birthday boy in question had been a bandmate of mine, and I still consider him a musical colleague. The other former band members were also in attendance at this party. We all caught up talking about music and musicianship. The conversation felt natural. It's like that year of distance hadn't even happened.
I used to think that some friendships were easy because they were convenient, but that's not what brought us all closer together again. It's actually rather inconvenient for all of us to keep tabs on each other because we've all become constant workers.
So what made our friendships so easy to pick up again after such a long time away? It never struck me until we all had to leave the party.
As the drummer of our old band was getting up to leave the party, he extended his hand to me to say goodbye. I almost grabbed his hand and gave him a traditional "bro hug"1 but as my hand rose to meet his, some weird instinct kicked in and I suddenly raised my hand over my head. I wasn't even sure what I was doing. He responded by rotating his extended hand palm upwards, and we proceeded to go through the motions of our secret handshake2, something we hadn't done since our last rehearsal over a year ago.
When the unannounced handshake was completed we both looked up at each other in astonishment.
Him: "Dude, it was good to see you."
Me: "You too, it's been too long."
Him: "Stay in touch, okay?"
Me: "I'm always around, somehow."
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pound_hug
- Not so secret as much as it is silly.